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And if so: How do I make this happen? Do Other Straight Women Really Do What I Want to Try in Bed? I’m a 32-year-old straight woman.
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I have never had sex. I don’t frequently masturbate, but when I do, it’s AWESOME. I’m cool with having an apparently low sex drive. But I want to have sex. I know what makes me feel good, I’ve discovered a couple of kinks, and I know what my absolute Do Not Want areas are. The thing is, the area I live in doesn’t have the best choices for casual sex. I have several close male friends, but they are NOT options—I wouldn’t want to possibly screw up a long-term friendship, neither would they, and we’re more like siblings. I would also feel too awkward hooking up with someone who probably knows one of those guys, and would probably be douchey enough to tell them. That might make me too picky, but given my anxiety issues, it’s something I take into consideration. Now I’m seriously considering saving my money and, post-COVID, taking a vacation somewhere that has legal prostitution and finding a male prostitute to do the job for me. My rationale is thus: They know what they’re doing. They won’t fight me on protection. And they might be more willing to indulge in my kink than a regular guy. Would that be a completely awful idea? If not, are there ways to do this properly as a straight woman that would give me the best chance for a safe experience? Dear Paying Up, You sound pretty self-possessed about what you want, so I decided to focus on your second question. I was able to find a trio of male escorts who see female clients in Australia, where sex work is decriminalized or legal in many parts of the country. “Male escorts who see and provide sexual services for women are a far rarer commodity than just about every other kind of sex worker,” Cameron Hart, one such escort, told me. “In a very general sense, there is less demand and therefore a far smaller industry base with which to engage when looking for a suitable provider.” He suggested that you consider writing to female service providers for referrals: “Sometimes reaching out to other sex workers or providers (specifically women) to ask their opinion of or recommendation on male sex workers can give you an insight into how they conduct themselves professionally and in the sex work community. I know as a fact that many of my clients are referred to me by women in the sex industry.” Escort John Oh also suggests that you do your research. “Read each guy’s website,” he said. “Get the best picture that you can of them. Then drop them an email and politely inquire if you can spend some time getting to know them. Offer to pay for their time to do so. I’m sure that you will figure out quickly enough if any given guy might suit you.” A third “professional companion,” Ryan James, said not to stop there: “After checking out their professional pictures on their website, have a look at their social media to find casual and recent pictures. Read through their bio and everything else you can find on their website about what they offer. Then go on to check if they’ve written anything elsewhere. See if they have a blog, if they’ve done any interviews. All this helps paint a picture of what they might be like in person and whether they would be a good match for you.” All three of the men I contacted strongly encourage communication, particularly when kink is in the mix. “When contacting an escort, an email, text or phone call simply requesting what you’re after is all that’s necessary. Your name, type of service that you’re after, preferred date, time and location. Be sure to mention anything specific that you’re after, especially when it comes to kink,” James said. Hart echoed that: “Some of us are trained in specific kink protocol, whilst others are not—and this will often impact our eagerness to provide for specific kinds of requests or desires. As an example, I am happy to fulfill moderate BDSM fantasies and requests, but high-protocol kink and scenes requiring significant skill I will often refer out to other providers who I know are trained, skilled and well regarded in that area. Again, the best way to assess whether a provider is right for you is to reach out and communicate.” Both Hart and James cautioned that a provider asking for a picture of you is a red flag, and asking for sexually explicit images is a whole red parade. Another red flag is if they send you sexual images without asking for your consent first. So I think your best bet is to start looking now, while you’re saving, to get an idea of what services and which providers might be interesting to you in whatever destination you decide to go with. Hart also said to consider first patronizing sex workers digitally via subscription platforms, and I think that might be a useful way for you to practice communicating with a provider. “You should never be afraid to reach out, whether that be by email, Twitter message, or even a private message through OnlyFans (or whichever platform the provider is using). Most of us are more than happy to discuss private or personalized content creation with fans or clients,” he said. And as I always advise for safety when meeting someone new: Meet in public first, tell a trusted friend where you’re going, and set check-in time(s). You don’t necessarily have to mention every last detail. Best of luck. Get Sex Advice in Your Inbox. Every How to Do It column, delivered weekly. Thanks for signing up! You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. Dear How to Do It, I’m not sure if this even counts as a “problem,” but I’d appreciate your thoughts on something. My wife and I are in our 50s. Third marriage for both of us. We’ve been together 10 years, and married for six. Our sex life is amazing, for our age but also for most any age. We make love virtually every day, if we happen to miss a day (tired, not feeling the best, ate supper too late), we often have sex twice the next day. Usually there is no “initiator”, it is just understood that we both desire each other whenever the opportunity arises. Afterward, we cuddle blissfully, sleep soundly, and wake up happy. So, here is the question: Most of the time, my wife prefers to have intercourse and that I have an orgasm, but she only wants to have an orgasm occasionally, usually once a week, and only after she has taken a very long and thorough shower. (She only orgasms with oral sex.) I’d love for her to orgasm more often, and would happily go down on her anytime, anywhere, with or without a preparatory shower. What should I do? Is this even an issue? Should I just count my blessings and carry on?
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Article about ladies looking for men:
And if so: How do I make this happen? Do Other Straight Women Really Do What I Want to Try in Bed? I’m a 32-year-old straight woman.
>> ENTER THE SITE <<
I have never had sex. I don’t frequently masturbate, but when I do, it’s AWESOME. I’m cool with having an apparently low sex drive. But I want to have sex. I know what makes me feel good, I’ve discovered a couple of kinks, and I know what my absolute Do Not Want areas are. The thing is, the area I live in doesn’t have the best choices for casual sex. I have several close male friends, but they are NOT options—I wouldn’t want to possibly screw up a long-term friendship, neither would they, and we’re more like siblings. I would also feel too awkward hooking up with someone who probably knows one of those guys, and would probably be douchey enough to tell them. That might make me too picky, but given my anxiety issues, it’s something I take into consideration. Now I’m seriously considering saving my money and, post-COVID, taking a vacation somewhere that has legal prostitution and finding a male prostitute to do the job for me. My rationale is thus: They know what they’re doing. They won’t fight me on protection. And they might be more willing to indulge in my kink than a regular guy. Would that be a completely awful idea? If not, are there ways to do this properly as a straight woman that would give me the best chance for a safe experience? Dear Paying Up, You sound pretty self-possessed about what you want, so I decided to focus on your second question. I was able to find a trio of male escorts who see female clients in Australia, where sex work is decriminalized or legal in many parts of the country. “Male escorts who see and provide sexual services for women are a far rarer commodity than just about every other kind of sex worker,” Cameron Hart, one such escort, told me. “In a very general sense, there is less demand and therefore a far smaller industry base with which to engage when looking for a suitable provider.” He suggested that you consider writing to female service providers for referrals: “Sometimes reaching out to other sex workers or providers (specifically women) to ask their opinion of or recommendation on male sex workers can give you an insight into how they conduct themselves professionally and in the sex work community. I know as a fact that many of my clients are referred to me by women in the sex industry.” Escort John Oh also suggests that you do your research. “Read each guy’s website,” he said. “Get the best picture that you can of them. Then drop them an email and politely inquire if you can spend some time getting to know them. Offer to pay for their time to do so. I’m sure that you will figure out quickly enough if any given guy might suit you.” A third “professional companion,” Ryan James, said not to stop there: “After checking out their professional pictures on their website, have a look at their social media to find casual and recent pictures. Read through their bio and everything else you can find on their website about what they offer. Then go on to check if they’ve written anything elsewhere. See if they have a blog, if they’ve done any interviews. All this helps paint a picture of what they might be like in person and whether they would be a good match for you.” All three of the men I contacted strongly encourage communication, particularly when kink is in the mix. “When contacting an escort, an email, text or phone call simply requesting what you’re after is all that’s necessary. Your name, type of service that you’re after, preferred date, time and location. Be sure to mention anything specific that you’re after, especially when it comes to kink,” James said. Hart echoed that: “Some of us are trained in specific kink protocol, whilst others are not—and this will often impact our eagerness to provide for specific kinds of requests or desires. As an example, I am happy to fulfill moderate BDSM fantasies and requests, but high-protocol kink and scenes requiring significant skill I will often refer out to other providers who I know are trained, skilled and well regarded in that area. Again, the best way to assess whether a provider is right for you is to reach out and communicate.” Both Hart and James cautioned that a provider asking for a picture of you is a red flag, and asking for sexually explicit images is a whole red parade. Another red flag is if they send you sexual images without asking for your consent first. So I think your best bet is to start looking now, while you’re saving, to get an idea of what services and which providers might be interesting to you in whatever destination you decide to go with. Hart also said to consider first patronizing sex workers digitally via subscription platforms, and I think that might be a useful way for you to practice communicating with a provider. “You should never be afraid to reach out, whether that be by email, Twitter message, or even a private message through OnlyFans (or whichever platform the provider is using). Most of us are more than happy to discuss private or personalized content creation with fans or clients,” he said. And as I always advise for safety when meeting someone new: Meet in public first, tell a trusted friend where you’re going, and set check-in time(s). You don’t necessarily have to mention every last detail. Best of luck. Get Sex Advice in Your Inbox. Every How to Do It column, delivered weekly. Thanks for signing up! You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. Dear How to Do It, I’m not sure if this even counts as a “problem,” but I’d appreciate your thoughts on something. My wife and I are in our 50s. Third marriage for both of us. We’ve been together 10 years, and married for six. Our sex life is amazing, for our age but also for most any age. We make love virtually every day, if we happen to miss a day (tired, not feeling the best, ate supper too late), we often have sex twice the next day. Usually there is no “initiator”, it is just understood that we both desire each other whenever the opportunity arises. Afterward, we cuddle blissfully, sleep soundly, and wake up happy. So, here is the question: Most of the time, my wife prefers to have intercourse and that I have an orgasm, but she only wants to have an orgasm occasionally, usually once a week, and only after she has taken a very long and thorough shower. (She only orgasms with oral sex.) I’d love for her to orgasm more often, and would happily go down on her anytime, anywhere, with or without a preparatory shower. What should I do? Is this even an issue? Should I just count my blessings and carry on?
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