[GUIDE] Shiny Hunting in Gen. 7 Games! -By RetroTyphlosion

[RetroTyphlosion]

(Jul 20, 2017, 12:02 PM)0kamii Wrote: @RetroTyphlosion

Hey, Retro.

I honestly never knew you did a guide on Shiny hunting. Kind of fitting now that you've found one. If you're asking for my opinion on the guide as a whole, you may want to prepare yourself. I'm an English major in real-life, so this pretty much what I do every day.

For starters, I agreed with Jirachi. You really need to focus on spacing. This site does have an 'insert space' function, I've used it many times. Go back and separate the Steps into individual paragraphs and then break it down further. You can use bold text or bullet points. Either will be effective. Also, make the font a bit bigger and try to reduce any redudant wording. For example, take this sentence:

"This might be the weirdest way to hunt for a shiny, but it's certainly useful and effective."

This isn't a bad sentence, at all. But it can definitely be polished a bit. The two adjectives are obsolete, and your conjuncture is sort of choppy. I recommed and edit more like this:

"While a strange method, it's no less effective."

Shorter sentences are aesthetically pleasing to the eye, and creates a stronger point than run-on sentences. Try to do that with as many of your sentences as possible.

As for the actual content of the guide, I think it is as comprehensive as necessary. You go over all of the popular methods of hunting in the seventh generation, and then break them down to the probability. I'd recommend more examples in future guides, such as Type: Null for soft-resetting. And lastly, try not to use rhetorical sentences to end posts. Things like, "What more do I have to say?" provokes unnecessary inquiry, and more tie-in endings are preferred. Try something like, "Now that you have the Shiny, you can go back to Step 1 for the next hunt." And lastly, a few pictures would be appreciated. I can tell you right now that people usually don't like to read.

Still not completely sure what you wanted me to say, if I was to critique the grammar or the content. Either way, I hope my feedback was helpful. Looking forward to the next guide.

- 0kamii

@0kamii Thanks, I will remember this for future posts!   However, I was asking you about the content, since you're a shiny hunter yourself. So, what do you think about that?