Well, it's seems tonight I am to die. A fugitive by the name W. Asp has been spotted in my general living area. And as a police officer, as proven by this picture,
![[Image: iSRuwjs.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/iSRuwjs.jpg)
it was my duty to apprehend the criminal. He was 1.5 inches tall, and carried a large knife of sorts. Nicknamed "The Stinger" by us on the force, we've been trying to catch him for a while. His m.o. is to assault victims with said knife, and leave them with "BooBoos"
We had a brief run in, and it is possible I left him mortally wounded, however I was not able to confirm this. If he is indeed still alive, he is definitely out for my blood. He knows where I live, and where I sleep. This is why I write this will. Should this monster still be alive, he will surely make an attempt at my life as I sleep. As not to cause civil unrest amongst those closest to me, my belongings are to be distributed as follows:
To my father: Underneath my bed there is a journal. Inside this journal are countless incomplete Pokemon strategies I made in an attempt to make you proud. However as none of them are complete, I leave them in your capable hands, hoping that you will see the light in my work and be proud. I'm particularly fond of the Choice Band Prinplup I was so close to a break through on.
To my mother: There is not much I can leave you but this picture of Roger![[Image: dntcwvl.png]](http://i.imgur.com/dntcwvl.png)
To my younger brother, Traf: Traf, I leave to you the most important thing, I could ever give to anyone, my place as Heir, to the WolfPack Throne. Should you choose not to accept, I completely understand. In this instance I shall leave it to another loyal WolfPack member, Bucsfan818
To my older brother, Connor: I leave you with all of the money to my name, $2.39.
To Alec, who has been much like a brother to me: I leave you with my car, a Honda Civic. It's actually a Hot Wheels though, seeing as I don't know how to drive stick.
To Vinny: It is my understanding that your 3DS broke recently. So I shall leave you with my broken 3DS so that you can start a collection.
To Roger: I leave with you this picture of Eckley. I knew you were a big fan of my art![[Image: SiFmc85.png]](http://i.imgur.com/SiFmc85.png)
To Pod: I give to you a riddle. Some Turtles Fight Unanimously
To Unit: I leave you the name of my psychiatrist, Dr. Anne Imay
To Bloody: I leave to you the secret identity of Batman, me.
To Juan: Dearest Juan, For you I leave Splatoon, as I owe it to you. Stay fresh, forever.
To PK: Damn you PK
To Bucs: If indeed Traf accepts the role, fret not. For through this will, I knight thee in the name of the WolfPack, and the name of Verlis.
(This is the only part of the will that will stand should I live this night)
To Unit: I leave you the name of my therapist, Dr. Anne Imay
To Tobby: For you, I will die not letting anyone know I let you win all of those Smash games.
That is all of my belongings, barring almost everything. Now should I not perish, none of this will stand, and I keep all of my stuff. The End kappa
it was my duty to apprehend the criminal. He was 1.5 inches tall, and carried a large knife of sorts. Nicknamed "The Stinger" by us on the force, we've been trying to catch him for a while. His m.o. is to assault victims with said knife, and leave them with "BooBoos"
We had a brief run in, and it is possible I left him mortally wounded, however I was not able to confirm this. If he is indeed still alive, he is definitely out for my blood. He knows where I live, and where I sleep. This is why I write this will. Should this monster still be alive, he will surely make an attempt at my life as I sleep. As not to cause civil unrest amongst those closest to me, my belongings are to be distributed as follows:
To my father: Underneath my bed there is a journal. Inside this journal are countless incomplete Pokemon strategies I made in an attempt to make you proud. However as none of them are complete, I leave them in your capable hands, hoping that you will see the light in my work and be proud. I'm particularly fond of the Choice Band Prinplup I was so close to a break through on.
To my mother: There is not much I can leave you but this picture of Roger
To my younger brother, Traf: Traf, I leave to you the most important thing, I could ever give to anyone, my place as Heir, to the WolfPack Throne. Should you choose not to accept, I completely understand. In this instance I shall leave it to another loyal WolfPack member, Bucsfan818
To my older brother, Connor: I leave you with all of the money to my name, $2.39.
To Alec, who has been much like a brother to me: I leave you with my car, a Honda Civic. It's actually a Hot Wheels though, seeing as I don't know how to drive stick.
To Vinny: It is my understanding that your 3DS broke recently. So I shall leave you with my broken 3DS so that you can start a collection.
To Roger: I leave with you this picture of Eckley. I knew you were a big fan of my art
To Pod: I give to you a riddle. Some Turtles Fight Unanimously
To Unit: I leave you the name of my psychiatrist, Dr. Anne Imay
To Bloody: I leave to you the secret identity of Batman, me.
To Juan: Dearest Juan, For you I leave Splatoon, as I owe it to you. Stay fresh, forever.
To PK: Damn you PK
To Bucs: If indeed Traf accepts the role, fret not. For through this will, I knight thee in the name of the WolfPack, and the name of Verlis.
(This is the only part of the will that will stand should I live this night)
To Unit: I leave you the name of my therapist, Dr. Anne Imay
To Tobby: For you, I will die not letting anyone know I let you win all of those Smash games.
That is all of my belongings, barring almost everything. Now should I not perish, none of this will stand, and I keep all of my stuff. The End kappa
RIP Miranda Cosgrove 1975-2017
